Saturday, May 31, 2008

Two and a Half Big Lost Theories

The recent "writing staff crossovers" between CSI and Two and a Half Men/The Big Bang Theory got me wondering: if Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn were to write an episode of Lost, would we find out that the mysterious organization on the island is actually the Dharma and Greg Initiative? Would Abrams, Lieber and Lindelof et al have Sheldon move Charlie's house to the north pole?

Any other mashups you'd like to see?

6 comments:

Pagan Mnemosyne said...

B.J. And The Bear and the new Battlestar Galactica.

It can work.

Anonymous said...

B.J. and the Battlestar? Hmm... produced by Glen Larson, naturally, and with Claude Akins as Number One... yeah, definite possibilities....

Ooh, how about a third mash with Patrick McGoohan as Six?

Kimota94 aka Matt aka AgileMan said...

I remember thinking that Lost sounded like an unholy hybrid of Gilligan's Island and Survivor when I first read about it in TV Guide before the new show debuted. I'm immeasurably glad that it turned out to be about a billion times better than either of those other two shows.

So... wouldn't it be a natural to mash up 24 and Lost? Just imagine: Jack Bauer is trapped on the island with the First Lady, who's carrying critical National Security information that her husband needs in order to stave off a nuclear confrontation with India. Jack has 24 hours to get himself and the First Lady off of the island before it travels 10,000 years into the past, trapping them both there forever (and consigning the Earth to nuclear destruction).

Unfortunately, Bauer's thwarted at every turn by Benry and the Others who seem to be able to move about the island in mysterious ways, as well as by countless island surprises that the Jihadist Dharma Initiative are behind.

Jack tries to get information out of Benry "the old fashioned way" after he captures him, but is frustrated by the fact that Benry actually seems to get off on the torture. Benry escapes when Jack is distracted by a polar bear and the hero has to kill the creature with nothing but a Bic pen and his useless cellphone. Jack wants to mourn the poor, misunderstood beast but he knows he can't afford that luxury! After all, time's running out!

The big season finale has Jack going up against the Smoke Monster... for all the marbles! Afterwards, Jack tricks Benry into revealing - by way of a coconut-oil-based hallucinogenic drug that Jack injects his foe with - that the island's machinery can be shut down by using the National Security numbers that the First Lady has in her head... but since she's suffering from amnesia at the moment, he's going to have to beat them out of her to help her remember! How can he possibly bring himself to do it, especially considering that he's fallen in love with her during the past 23 hours???

24 Hours Lost's best. Season. Ever!

Anonymous said...

Oh great, now Fox is going to have to go refilm the entire season so they don't get charged with plagiarism. :)

Kimota94 aka Matt aka AgileMan said...

Or they could just give me a co-writer credit and buy a few copies of my AgileMan book... it's not like I'm the litigious type!

Anonymous said...

hahaha, i see you've thought about that one a few times before. nice work.